Remain Single 3

single-mum-of-two

Some people make choice to remain single during their lives. Singles are wholesome, fulfilled, friendly, healthy and loving but decide real early in their adult years to remain single. In some cases they are products of families that were controlling, abusive or dysfunctional.

In other cases people have careers that are challenging and all overwhelming and leave them with little time for investing in family. Some women and or men have had bad experiences with men/women, and consequently decided to go without marriage.

Whatever the reason, if a person decides to remain single, it is okay. Singleness can be a choice. People who choose to be single may live a fulfilled and productive life. They may share their lives with family, friends and children in other capacities without having a family of their own.

As result of divorce, some people end up in family headed by a single parent. Some people who are divorced may choose to remain single and may never remarry. When singleness occurs because of divorce, sometimes the spouses may remain in a friendly relationship.

In other cases, there is bitterness between the separated spouses. When the latter happens, singleness can be difficult. While the spouses may have expected that a divorce or separation may have ended the problems, they are likely to find that they are in a state of constant anxiety. People, who become single, as result of divorce, need a support of family and friends, as do people who go through grief from the loss of loved one to death. The reality is there is just little support.

These people are at times disliked, criticized and rejected. This makes it painful for them, and as a result they themselves see singleness as a dysfunction. People who become single through divorce, therefore, can best help themselves by acknowledging their decision and become committed to survive the loss, much like people who overcome sorrow after the death of loved one.

People who become single through widowhood should surround themselves with caring and supportive family and friends. There are major life changing decisions that need to be made. If children are involved, the state of singleness caused by widowhood may be overwhelming. Suddenly, a family that had two parents now has one. The parent will go through reformation the supervision of the family, and the children will need to acclimatize to the changes that will be necessary for the survival of the family. The dynamics of the family alteration may become even more complicated if the present spouse begins to date soon after the death of the spouse. Often, when children are involved, they notice this as betrayal to the deceased and may develop anger to the surviving parent. This damage may cause further difficulties for the family, creating the cycle of relationships that may become conflictual, thus lending to family dysfunctions.


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3 thoughts on “Remain Single

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